Fun Business Meeting Tips
Esmerelda completes another successful meeting! Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash
Business meetings don’t have to be a tedious affair if you approach them correctly. Here are some tips you can use to spice up your meetings and build team morale!
Every third PowerPoint slide shout out “Get a room”
After someone explains any given plan, ask “And how will this affect ghosts?”
Insist on calling someone Esmeralda. This works best when no one in the meeting is actually named Esmerelda, otherwise it just looks like you’ve mixed people up. And then you will be thought of as a fool.
Anytime you are asked for input, start playing short form improv games, Like party quirks.
Whenever someone puts forwards an idea say “Esmeralda already said that dumb dumb.”
After each sip of coffee make loud contented sounds, while occasionally saying “Ah! Just like Aunt Carol used to make!”
Bring a toucan. When people ask about it, pretend you do not know what they are talking about and act like it’s not there
When someone is talking but not looking at you, wing a donut at them. When they ask who did it blame ghosts. And then say “That’s why we need to know how things impact ghosts”.
When asked for the status of any project you are working on, Stare out a window and say in a grave tone “When they take everything from you, the only thing remaining is vengeance”. Say nothing else.
During the meeting, openly read a Highlights for Children Magazine. When anyone questions or criticizes you for it, just shake your head and ask “Why must you be such a Goofus”.
Whenever someone comes into a meeting late point at them and scream like Donald Sutherland at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Pass a note to a co-worker that says “I know what you did.”
When a presentation is complete stand and shout “Thus spake the heretic!”
Answer all questions asked of you with lyrics to Weird Al songs.
Interrupt someone in the middle of a presentation and ask “How much do honeybuns cost?”
At the end of the meeting, claim you yourself are a ghost and scream “And Esmerelda is the one who put me in the grave!”
The above is satire, and you should not do any of these things, which, frankly, should be obvious.