Why Joss Whedon Should Not Direct The Avengers

Joss Whedon announced at this year’s Comic-Con that he will direct the movie based on Mavel Comics’ The Avengers.  Whedon is the creative force behind Buffy the Vampire SlayerFirefly, and Dollhouse. For Whedon’s fans this is exciting news.  Others, however, are not thrilled.  Based on a scientific survey completed over the weekend, the following are the primary concerns about a Whedon helmed Avengers movie:

1.  Nathan Fillion would be a terrible Thor.

2.  Bruce Banner/Incredible Hulk may be reimagined as moody vampire.

3.  Whedon’s penchant for strong female leads may make movie focus inordinately on Wasp.

4.  Rabid fans, calling themselves Pym coats will show up and ruin the movie for everyone else.

5.  Risk that Captain America will be re-cast with that guy who used to do coffee commercials.

6.  Too much risk that Eliza Dushku will be allowed to appear in the film.

7.  Iron Man may be turned into some weird-ass space cowboy.

8.  An inexplicable and inappropriate musical number with Nick Fury may pop up.

9.  Fox will arbitrarily reschedule commercials for the movie, causing confusion among viewers.

10.  Excellent chance that movie will somehow be cancelled halfway through each showing.

11.  Somehow, Whedon will make a comic book movie even nerdier than normal.