Biden's Lesser Known Executive Orders
Photo by Tabrez Syed on Unsplash
It’s been a whirlwind of a half week for the 46th President of the United States. In his first few days in office, Joe Biden has signed dozens of Executive Orders. Many of these have generated headlines for sweeping changes in policy and signal significant changes in direction from the previous Administration.
As a result of some of the higher profile Orders, many others have fallen through the cracks and below the media radar. Below are some of the lesser known, and possibly, surprising Executive Orders and other actions signed by President Biden this week:
An urgent call for the immediate return of the Capitol Steps and their special brand of topical musical comedy.
A national moratorium on those memes of Bernie Sanders just sitting around.
The issuance of clemency for the Noid.
Designation of “Kick Ass Corvettes” as the official vehicle of the federal government.
An executive order permitting the President of the United States to “drive the train” anytime he or she desires, including the right to ring the bell and/or activate the whistle.
Proclamation that Bobbie Sandwiches and crab claws to be served at all state dinners.
Major and Champ nominated as ambassadors to Germany.
Philadelphia Phillies must move to Washington, D.C.; Nationals move to Philadelphia. Gritty required to move to D.C. and become a baseball mascot.
Defense Production Act triggered to manufacture sufficient number of aviator sunglasses for all federal employees to have two pairs.
All FDA employees must be named either Trevor or Gwen.
An immediate ban of all malarkey.
The above is a parody, which, frankly, should be obvious. A podcast version of this is available here.